Friday!

Whoa, where did March go? How did April get here so fast! Whirlwind of activity around our place lately. More on that next week.

I hardly have the time to think! Today, I told my Mom I was hadn't seen her since Thanksgiving. However, I meant Easter. Thanks for correcting me today Mom. And, thank you for giving us the bags of sliced oranges and apples for our drive home. That was a nice treat for us all. Those little things sure keep me going these days!

We had the whole family over for Easter dinner last weekend. Full turkey dinner, and a ham. And a birthday cake. And some lemon meringue pie. And wine. And coffee, and strong tea. Right April?!

We also sang happy birthday to my sister April, and my Mom. Their birthday's are two days apart. (April baked her own cake poor sis LOL--p.s. she said she would bring it or else I would have had one there!!) And, I got to see my sister Amy's beautiful belly. Her first baby! She is due April 13th and we are all patiently waiting! As are her and Tyler (and K!) So exciting!

It was was wonderful. All 15 of us squished around two tables in our dining room. That was a record for the most people to dinner in one place in our home. Lots of great memories that is for sure. I am looking forward to making new memories too!

Lately, I am falling asleep on the sofa. Waking up at 3 and crawling up to bed. My mega eye twitch is back with a vengeance. Dog tired. Only to listen to my husband snore in my ear. I am just thankful for all he does for us in our family. I know he is tired because he really works two jobs. His day job, and his responsibilities as a family man. I am truly blessed with an amazing husband! Thank you dear Cliff. Seriously, people always ask how I do it. His name is always at the top of that answer! I always say I couldn't do it without his love and support.

This morning was a morning of hell really. I had a very difficult morning getting the kids off to school. So, I let them go on their own. They did fine. I followed them just to make sure they made it. And, of course they did.

I made it up to the kids by picking up McDonald's for us for lunch. Mother of the year right here! LOL.

Happy Friday!

P.S. The items that have been placed around our home are still standing and are NOT being touched. We have turned a corner. Next milestone to meet, good bye diapers forever. Working on this one! Woot!

Gratitude

Today, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for my home, for my cozy bed. For my husband, for my beautiful kids. For my growing business. I realize in the craziness of life, I don't stop in to say thank you enough. I have so much to be thankful for. And yet, I don't feel like I have enough. Isn't that awful?! It is the truth.

Thank you for my eyes that see, for ears that hear. For a body that works. No matter about the flaws. It is time to start focussing in on more joy. More love, more acceptance of who I am, and what I want to accomplish. I want to live a BIG life. Not a little life. Life these days have felt little. So, I have to make changes! BIG changes to realize my dreams and goals. It isn't going to be easy, but I can do it.

I am feeling rather excited these days. I have so much to be grateful for and to.

I am thankful for good friends who stand by me, and support me.

I am thankful to parents who help out when we need help.

I am thankful to a certain cousin who always loves me, talks with me and makes me feel. And thankful for the treats she brings over. So much joy in our conversation!

I am thankful to friends old and new.

I am thankful to many speakers that have inspired me to keep working hard, and to be me. I can only be me. And, to believe in myself.

Thank you to those who love me. I know there are those who don't. I am OK with that. I have decided that I have to be true to me. If you do not like me, that is OK. I accept that. I cannot change who I am. I can only work hard at being better at the things I am not so good at.

I am am also thankful for a particular speaker at my local RR two weeks ago Sylvie Ruegger. Do you know who she is?! Well, in 1984 she ran for Canada in the very first women's marathon in Los Angeles. She ended up in 8th place. She felt she let Canada down by not placing with a gold, silver and bronze. What a HUGE weight to carry around.

I can relate to that feeling of letting people down. Failing. Sylvie's talk about her journey and struggles as an athlete. Her trials and tribulations. Got me all emotional. She stirred up deep feelings that I have been carrying around for a very long time. I actually started welling up with tears, and started quietly sobbing. To the point where I actually had to leave the room! I felt like a total loser breaking down and crying, but hey, it was like she got me, and that was a a good thing.

What I took away from her talk is that is OK to fail. It is OK! Her story was so powerful. She helped me to believe in me again. Never give up on your dreams. Even if the original dream becomes something differently entirely.

I am thankful to you my faithful readers of my blog. Changes are coming! Believe in the opportunities that are all around you. You may not recognize them as opportunity, but they are right there waiting for you. Take that leap and never look back!

This is how I am choosing to live. I choose not to live in fear anymore.

Never Give Up!
- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

Flowers for me

This morning my daughter whom we lovingly call our 'Carlyflower' decided to give me some flowers. Well, they were not really flowers but really pretty weeds and she even got the vase out for me. They are sitting on the mantle in a prominent spot so I can see them when I am feeding Courtney. I love those simple gifts of love.

Last night I managed to tidy up my whole office (I know most of you who know me think that my office was clean and organized!) because there were so many new items and such that needed to grouped, placed and put away. So I did that. And finished up around 1:00 am. Still had troubles sleeping even after organizing. Usually that feels really good. Like a good ahhhhhh or a deep breath. Or a good sigh, or like after a good cry. Just lately there has just been too many things on my mind. Like life with the business of six kids, a sick FIL a sad MIL and all of that jazz. And, dirty toilets, and dirty walls. The house felt like it needed some TLC. So it got it...feels good now. I did eventually fall asleep. And when Courtney decided to wake up at 3:45 am made me just a bit on the sleep deprived. Thankfully a quick feed and we both fell asleep. Only to be awoken by the alarm clock just after six this morning. After a quick shower I was refreshed and ready to start the day.

I had a bit of an issue with my three year old this morning in the van. You know when kids scream and cry at the top of their lungs so that the whole world can hear them?! Well, yes. My darling Catie decided to do that at school with the van door open in the school parking lot. Allowing all of the moms to hear her LOVELY voice. Oh, and did they hear it. Oh boy. I got some sympathetic glances and nods. I just shut the van door on her after I talked to her about the incident. (being she threw her treat gummies--two of them because she wanted the whole package.) I split up a package of fruit gummies between the three girls. She was not happy about sharing with Caroline and Carly. But she settled in after I found one of them and gave it back to her after she settled. The other gummy is MIA. I am sure Caroline will find it and eat it next time she is in the van :D

That was one of those embarrassing don't want your friends and family to see kind of moments LOL. Well, at least they all know my life is pretty real and just like everybody else. Just the fact that when they all scream at the top of their lungs it is VERY loud...LOL. Louder than any of you out there reading this would care to hear! Bring earplugs! And a sense of humour.

Humour is needed in times like these!

small treasures

You see that empty jar? Well, every time I do the laundry I find SOMETHING in the wash and I plunk it into the jar. Today was picture day as it was almost to the top.

Uh huh, that is my payday YUP! The change went into the Disneyland waterjug...

Apron Strings

Eight aprons from my childhood!

The kids trying them out, and Cameron chose a 'cape' style instead, can you blame him?

History repeats itself...

I was thinking back to my childhood, and growing up with my two sisters April and Amy. And of course with my cousins Riki, Andrea, Bobby and Bryan. In total, there were 7 of us grandchildren. I know there are a picture or two of us in the very same aprons, unfortunately I searched through my albums, and I don't have a copy. But I have many memories!

We used to have so much fun going over to Granny and Papa's house. I think we went there a lot, but I cannot remember how often that really was. It was so exciting to be able to go and visit, and usually get to do something fun. Like bake bread (Papa was a baker), sleep over, our night time prayers and of course wake up to the smell of oatmeal in the morning. Listening to the sounds of my grandparents talking in the morning. And being awoken by the voices of our grandparents saying 'Wakey wakey rise and shine' and the familiar sound of NW98 blaring over the radio in the living room. I love how my grandparents would also take us ALL for sleepovers. So many grandchildren at a time, and yet I am sure we ALL have precious memories of our childhood!

I remember the 'long' drive to my grandparents home. We would watch for certain landmarks, and know that we were getting closer to their home!

One thing that I particularly remember is being able to wear Granny's special aprons. She had many of them. Fancy ones, cotton ones, embroidered ones. I was doing some remembering, and I said to my Mom, I wonder if Granny still has those aprons...So, I asked my Mom if she could ask Granny for them if she still had them. And, guess what. She did! I received eight of them! That is a gift in itself.

What a treat! When I took them out, I touched each one, and placed them one by one out on the counter. And I took a photo or two. I instantly remembered the fabrics, and instantly was brought back to a time in my life when I had the pleasure of being young and innocent, just being a child.

After I remembered back, I gathered up the kids, and I told them about how we (when were kids wore THE VERY SAME aprons!) Our kids thought that was pretty neat that their Mommy wore the same aprons! Except those aprons don't fit around my waist anymore! But, they are perfect for our little ones! I told them, that I would put these in the baking drawer so that they could use them when they wanted to. And, now they pull them out quite often. Today, Catie had on a green and white one, and Caroline had a blue gingham one. They are so big on them, and they look like little prairie dresses to me! Right up my alley and my Little House on the Prairie fascination! I also told them, that they are to be cherished and respected. I told them also that I want MY grandchildren to wear them. They seemed to understand the importance of these aprons. The love of the aprons! The love of a GG!

These aprons I know were sewn with a great deal of love, and perfect in every way. When I see my own kids in these aprons, it brings me right back to that wonderful time when EVERYTHING was right in the world.

I am so thankful to my Granny for giving these to me, as I will have memories that will last a lifetime. I love you so much Granny. I know when you used to tie these aprons around our waist you probably said a little prayer for us. And, I have been doing that for my kids too! I will continue to do that for them too. And, hopefully I get a few grandchildren from our six kids, and I will do that for them too! I just hope I will have ENOUGH aprons!

I thank you for giving me so many fond memories, and for the apron strings that continue to envelope me, and our whole family in love. You are a treasure. And, we love you Granny/GG.

A little get away to Bitoria!

A self photo taken on the ferry boat on Friday night!

Well, we just got back from a 2 night get away (sans kids) well, except for the baby in my belly. To go for a 'baby moon' slash my birthday get away. Last chance get away before baby arrives. Whatever you want to call it. We called it, a great 2 night vacation. Thank you to my in-laws and parents who took care of the kids whilst we slept in, ate out at restaurants with out kids. And walked hand in hand through the streets of Victoria (named Bitoria by Carly!)

Here is me on the Spirit of Vancouver, on Friday night. This is the first time I have been on a ferry boat to Victoria since 1992. It was just as fun as I remembered! But way more fun to go with my husband, than with a friend!

Here are the Parliament buildings!

I have been wanting to see this exhibit for MONTHS, and really I have been fascinated by the Titanic for YEARS. So, going to Victoria to see countless (well about 280 artifacts) was priceless! It was worth the wait, and I was so moved by the whole exhibit. We even caught an IMAX film on the Titanic too.

The Case of the Missing Toothpaste

Yes, last night...finally after a long day Cliff and I are in our bathroom and he discovers that our whole tube of toothpaste is missing. First thought...Catie took it. We look in drawers, cupboards etc. It is not there.

Cliff goes into Claire's room and low and behold. The tube of toothpaste is under her pillow. Yes. You read that right. Under her pillow.

Why? Why? Why?????

Nothing like warm toothpaste on your toothbrush before you go to bed.

May Day May Day

Here are a couple of photos of Caroline taken on Mothers Day 2006

(May 14th 2006 - Caroline was 12 days old)

Well, I survived a rough day. One I do not wish to repeat. I am thankful to have another day to try again. My sweet Mom-in-Law brought me over Lily of the Valley. A little posey to put beside my bedside table. Instantly reminded me of our wedding, and our wedding flowers. My friend and my two sisters carried Lily of the Valley posies. Wow, do they ever smell beautiful. She made my evening! Thank you Mom.

Seeing the flowers also reminded me of Caroline's birth...and she became my lily of the valley. Claire, my tulip, Carly my sunflower, Catie my garden rose and Caroline...my sweet Caroline. Cameron is my strong branch, and another blossom of some sort will join our family at the end of the year.

As Caroline slumbers tonight as a baby, she will awake in the morning a one year old. What a fast year.

a snapshot of my day today

• Two older girls dumped/used 3/4's of a brand new body wash that was for their baby sister. They were trying to wash their dirty bums, and failed. Poop was all on the clean bathmats and on the floor and of course in their underwear...yuck
• Two older girls did their own laundry and folding of the laundry aka Poo Poo load yuck.
• Washed white slipcovers as dirty backyard feet got onto them
• Washed, folded and put away 3 large loads of laundry (and then of course the "bonus" laundry lol)
• Cleaned glass doors and windows
• Bleached out the new (to us) kitchen sink and it looks so much better
• dusted main level of the home
• Two older girls got into my make up brushes, licked them/sucked on them and they were my nice brushes (MAC) and we spent the whole evening looking for them and they are still not found. (April two of the brushes from you, boo hoo)
• Catie got into my office and dumped my thank you cards all over and locked herself in the office
• Two older girls got locked into our walk-in closet and on the floor I found nail clippers that belong in my make up drawer along with the brushes that are still missing
• Broke my toenail down very low on the vacuum hose (ouch) but still did the whole home.
• Just ordered a birthday cake this evening for the birthday girl tomorrow!
• Spent a lot of today feeling very angry at my girls, and then felt bad for feeling angry at them
• Talked with the bank
• Older girls went to bed right after dinner
• Older girls took hairspray and water to their dollies *how did I forget that one?!
• Didn't kiss my 11 month old tonight or breastfeed her. She went to bed with a cup of milk and she survived and so did I! I will kiss her goodnight for the last time as a baby! Tomorrow she is officially a toddler! Wow!
• Went grocery shopping for stuff for tomorrow's birthday dinner! Pasta with salad and garlic bread!
• Going to watch American Idol now...good night

April 30th 2007

Well, just how fast does a year go? Way too fast! I was thinking back to last year, when I was almost ready to have baby number 5 aka Caroline Mae. And to think that on Wednesday my girl turns ONE! Really hard to believe! And, here I am pregnant again and feeling so blessed to be able to do this all again.

Last year at this time, I was scared about the health of the baby, who turned out to be fine even with her kidney issues, I was tired, huge and wanting the baby out. I was anticipating Cliff staying home with us for a couple of months which was wonderful, and I had so many hopes and dreams...all are coming true!

Last year our old house, and this year a new house. Last year Cliff worked for a different company, and now has his great position out this way! And now another little one to add to the family.

So many changes in one year!

Tomorrow brings the month on May, and that is my favourite month of the whole year! For one it is Caroline's birthday on the 2nd, but it also means Cliff and I will have been married for 9 years on May 9th! And, just the good weather starts to roll in! I love spring! Flowers in full bloom, and blue skies! Yay.

rain rain go away

Are we sure this is Spring? Are we sure this is Spring Break? I look out the window and I swear it is November. I am so tired of this wet weather. It is so mega depressing to me. The kids are cooped up. I am constantly keeping the kids out of trouble. It is STILL raining!!

Let me sum up my week for you all:

• Catie getting into every cupboard in sight, eating cereal, sesame seeds, more cereal, cheese and butter
• Kids climbing on the counters and taking scissors, cutting up my note pad
• drainage problem in the crawlspace, there for no subject removal YET *fingers crossed* it goes tomorrow
• shaving cream play
• chalkboard art
• writing our names out on paper with pen
• computer time
• whiny Caillou videos that drove me nuts (Catie LOVES him)
• apples dipped in peanut butter
• cheese shmears of the slipcovers
• washed all my white slipcovers as they got quite dirty for some reason...maybe because my kids would not stay at the kitchen table!!
• driving around in the van listening to music to get out of the house
• throw up in Carly's bed, wash extra set of sheets
• coughing kids
• "bored" kids. I thought bored is a state of mind?
• kids who wouldn't listen
• not enough computer time to blog lol
• painting, and more painting
• eating cheese and cracker packets with the little stick (this is the first time we have EVER bought these for them)
• Hot chocolates to warm us all up from this rain
• swing set taken down to get ready for the move
• 2 visits by the drain tile experts and possibly one more visit to satisfy buyers
• Got out for only 1 walk in the evening, and went to feed 3 cows grass and carrots
• eating oatmeal for dinner
• talked on the phone a lot, making appointments, changing services, adding services, talking to Realtors, talking to my family
• planning stuff
• organizing stuff
• making lists for the big move
• eating and more eating
• poopy diapers galore
• play date today
• saw Cliff in his work truck
• danced around and were silly
• eating more
• as a family with in laws included we ate 2 flats of Krispy Kreme donuts (thank you Jodi)
• diaper rash on Caroline (poor baby)

And more poop. In fact, this was my afternoon. Really crappy. Catie took diaper off, Caroline found diaper because Carly left bathroom door open. Poop trail down the bathroom floor, down the hall onto the carpet, then down the other hall. I cleaned it up, did two batches of bleach water to sanitize. The worst part is Caroline got poop all over her hands. That made me bawl. I just lost it then. Poor baby girl. I bathed her, and her hands still smelled. So we dipped her hands in bit of lime juice, and then a bit of vinegar to cut the smell. But, nope she still stinks. We get her down to bed, and then she wakes up crying SOOOO hard because she made a poop and then I had to wash her bum because it was so red and raw.

So, there is a summary of my week. I probably forgot to add some stuff. Like many loads of laundry etc. It has been really busy!

Happy Spring!

Well, my favourite season is here! Although from the weather outside you would never know it. I have been plagued with a loss of voice going on now for 9 days. It is getting better, but now I have developed an annoying cough.

Lots going on to do with our move, and just trying to get organized and prepared. It is going to be challenging to move 7 people! But, I know we will manage.

This week is "Spring Break" and really it hasn't been that exciting. We have a play date tomorrow, then we have Science World on the weekend. That will be fun. Other than that, I am just trying to rest up so I can get my voice back. It is really hard to have this because I talk ALL day long.

This morning Caroline actually let go of me and stood for I would think 3-4 seconds. That was really exciting. It is hard to believe that she will be a year old soon. This first year has been so exciting with her in it! We are so happy that she is in our lives and we love her happy smile. Our mini Cliff. (she has his dimple on the same cheek which we just think is the best!)

Other than that, I have just spent too much time on the phone this past week, probably more reason for my voice troubles. Oh well.

That is my update. Last night we spent 2 hours shopping! Not for fun stuff either. Things like diapers, food, toilet paper. You know, the stuff that runs out way too often lol.

My Life List

Purchase a heritage home and fix it up to its original beauty with modern conveniences

Become a showgirl for one night on stage

Get a pole and continue on with pole dancing! Get strong!

Christmas in New York

Run a Marathon

Complete an Ironman Triathlon

Have a beautiful family photograph taken by a famous photographer

Meet the Barenaked Ladies

Ride some of the world’s finest thrill rides!

Meet my online friend Missy in Minnesota and tour Laura Ingalls places of where she grew up etc. Buy all of her books to give to my kids!

Have a complete makeover from head to toe including my wardrobe from Stacy and Clinton and the What Not to Wear show

Learn how to paint from a painting master

Visit the Louvre

Kiss my hubby in Paris in the most romantic place, the Eiffel Tower and then sit at a cafe and have a coffee and people watch

Visit Germany to see my Dad’s childhood home

Take my whole family (the whole family) and friends to Disneyland!

Take a Motor home across Canada to see all of the places I have never seen! Every province and bring the kids with us!

Drive a Porsche 911 stick shift and drive REALLY FAST!

Own a convertible car for Cliff and I so we can take that out instead of the minivan all of the time

Learn how to sing a love song to my husband

Learn how to play the drums

Learn how to tap dance

Go to San Francisco and ride a cable car, see the Ghiradelli Chocolate factory, see Alcatraz, see the most twisty road in San Fran.

Spend the day touring vineyards and sample the wines and then have a fabulous ride home via stretch limo and stay in a fab hotel to rest from all of the relaxing wine!

Own a motel on a lake so we can start a family business

Get my teeth zoom whitened

Go shopping on Rodeo Drive like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman

Rent my own private island for my husband and I

Got to Las Vegas and renew my wedding vows!

Meet somebody famous

Get hair extensions

Ride a gondola in Venice with Cliff and have the most romantic trip ever

Lose my weight and have a pin up photo taken by Jillian and surprise my husband

Go onto a reality tv show (again)