We have been slowly adding 'stuff' or decor to our home in the last week. Our house, void of very much. A shell really with just the walls and the deemed essentials around. A lot of our then precious items, broken from kids in the past. Sometimes hot tempers have broken stuff in our house. Thrown from the upstairs 'balcony' area. Smashing down onto the hard tile floors. So, we are hesitant to ever put anything out ever again.
However, life may be changing for us. It seems we just *may* be turning a corner on this one particular issue. We bought some tall, white, decorative breakable candle holders and candles. We put all three of them on our dining room table, and you know what nobody touched them, or moved them. Or pretended they were pirate swords. Or, picked at the tangerine coloured wax!
This is BIG!
So, we left them. I was actually going to put them away for night. Just to avoid any kids who may decide to touch them early in the morning when we are still getting ready upstairs. Little hands, little explorers. Wanting to touch everything around! This has been a MAJOR battle for us. We always seemed to lose this one.
So, they are still out. Three meals, and snacks later. They are still there. I think, we are having a shift in our household.
It brings delight within me, to be able to look around our home and enjoy pretty items. It makes my heart sing. Visual beauty, ahhhhhhhh. I am tired of living in a brown shell, much like a big brown box. I need colour, texture. Love. In our house, in our home.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sounds I love.
In the morning, Cliff and I are usually awoken by the sounds of our kids. Sometimes, we hear screaming, or fighting. Those mornings are rare, and startle us awake! Not so nice to be jolted awake and into action right away.
The mornings I love, are the very quiet mornings. When all of the kids are upstairs and talking. Or laughing. Or mega giggles. The beautiful quiet sounds. Where the kids are talking about stuff. Like how Mommy and Daddy bought a new lamp for the bedroom. And, how they like it. Or, how Carly takes Courtney out of her crib (yes, she is STILL in there and she still loves it!) and just brings her in to change her diaper on our floor. Cliff and I just lay there in bed, watching and listening to the two kids interact with each other.
I love the sounds of sweet laughter. So much laughter, that our cheeks hurt from smiling while listening to their conversations. Cliff and I, still tired, from of course lack of sleep most of the time. We love those mornings. The still quiet mornings.
The mornings I love, are the very quiet mornings. When all of the kids are upstairs and talking. Or laughing. Or mega giggles. The beautiful quiet sounds. Where the kids are talking about stuff. Like how Mommy and Daddy bought a new lamp for the bedroom. And, how they like it. Or, how Carly takes Courtney out of her crib (yes, she is STILL in there and she still loves it!) and just brings her in to change her diaper on our floor. Cliff and I just lay there in bed, watching and listening to the two kids interact with each other.
I love the sounds of sweet laughter. So much laughter, that our cheeks hurt from smiling while listening to their conversations. Cliff and I, still tired, from of course lack of sleep most of the time. We love those mornings. The still quiet mornings.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Gratitude
Today, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for my home, for my cozy bed. For my husband, for my beautiful kids. For my growing business. I realize in the craziness of life, I don't stop in to say thank you enough. I have so much to be thankful for. And yet, I don't feel like I have enough. Isn't that awful?! It is the truth.
Thank you for my eyes that see, for ears that hear. For a body that works. No matter about the flaws. It is time to start focussing in on more joy. More love, more acceptance of who I am, and what I want to accomplish. I want to live a BIG life. Not a little life. Life these days have felt little. So, I have to make changes! BIG changes to realize my dreams and goals. It isn't going to be easy, but I can do it.
I am feeling rather excited these days. I have so much to be grateful for and to.
I am thankful for good friends who stand by me, and support me.
I am thankful to parents who help out when we need help.
I am thankful to a certain cousin who always loves me, talks with me and makes me feel. And thankful for the treats she brings over. So much joy in our conversation!
I am thankful to friends old and new.
I am thankful to many speakers that have inspired me to keep working hard, and to be me. I can only be me. And, to believe in myself.
Thank you to those who love me. I know there are those who don't. I am OK with that. I have decided that I have to be true to me. If you do not like me, that is OK. I accept that. I cannot change who I am. I can only work hard at being better at the things I am not so good at.
I am am also thankful for a particular speaker at my local RR two weeks ago Sylvie Ruegger. Do you know who she is?! Well, in 1984 she ran for Canada in the very first women's marathon in Los Angeles. She ended up in 8th place. She felt she let Canada down by not placing with a gold, silver and bronze. What a HUGE weight to carry around.
I can relate to that feeling of letting people down. Failing. Sylvie's talk about her journey and struggles as an athlete. Her trials and tribulations. Got me all emotional. She stirred up deep feelings that I have been carrying around for a very long time. I actually started welling up with tears, and started quietly sobbing. To the point where I actually had to leave the room! I felt like a total loser breaking down and crying, but hey, it was like she got me, and that was a a good thing.
What I took away from her talk is that is OK to fail. It is OK! Her story was so powerful. She helped me to believe in me again. Never give up on your dreams. Even if the original dream becomes something differently entirely.
I am thankful to you my faithful readers of my blog. Changes are coming! Believe in the opportunities that are all around you. You may not recognize them as opportunity, but they are right there waiting for you. Take that leap and never look back!
This is how I am choosing to live. I choose not to live in fear anymore.
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Kissing Tree
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Let it be.
So, what has been going on. Let me say, what has NOT been going on!!
Making some big changes in our lives. REALLY big, and we are getting excited about it. Not ready to share, but you will all find out in the near future.
We are ready for big changes, and they bring a lot of excitement. For all of us!
I have spent my days running my business, running 4-5 days per week, doing home work, doing hair, doing laundry. Making snacks, cleaning up. Running errands and the usual grind.
Sad the Olympics are over, and miss watching events on TV. It was wicked awesome to watch all the spirit Canada had during the 17 days! We all had a lot of fun going downtown, and of course watching it all! I am so proud to be Canadian these days!
Our very first library/school library book was ripped up by Courtney today. This is the very first book in all of the school years. Six years! I feel bad for Carly, as it was her book. She wrote a little apology letter to her teacher, and we taped it up as best we could.
Cameron has his palate expander in his mouth. I crank that sucka once a day for him. I am proud of him for taking this on like a champ. We are also extremely proud of the FIVE A's he brought home on his report card! Go Cameron! He totally brought up his grades on his own! He said he would have one A this term!! Good job Mr!
Claire. She of course just turned nine last week. She was spoiled with a lot of new clothes, earrings, gift cards. All the things a girl of her age would want! She looks so grown up to me now! She totally has an interest in cooking, and baking. She knows all the ingredients for pancakes and helps make them with her Daddy. She recently sang with the school choir (Grade 3 district choir) who all sang 'Oh Canada' to the crowd at the torch ceremony in our town. She also sang with her choir at the school Olympics assembly. I was very proud to see her do that, and watching her grow so beautifully.
Carly, she is an excellent skipper! She also likes to wear her beautiful brown hair in two braids. She looks so cute and she is growing up so much! She likes to take care of herself. She is very complimentary to others, making them feel good. She also likes to dress in skirts and dresses. She also likes shoes. She is very helpful, and wants to make things good! She also has a huge love of horses and nature. And wants the world to be a good and clean place to live. My nature girl. Love her!
Catie, she is coming out of her shell at school. She got a '4' in skipping on her report card. That 4 means exceeds expectations. We were so proud to read that! She is also really digging reading! She really reminds me of how Cameron was when he was her age. She LOVES to learn. I am happy about that. She is so active, and jumps around all day. She is full of beans. She loves to balance, she is learning a few cheerleading moves and has them perfected. She says she wants to cheer. She also loves running!
Caroline. Miss Mae Mae. She has this gorgeous head of blonde curls, and this awesome brown eyes. She is miss casual. Prefers pants and track pants and runners. To skirts and dresses. She still talks very loudly, and makes sure she is heard! She has the most interesting conversations, and she does make us laugh. She is in that sneaky, going to raid the pantry phase like all of the others did at her age too. She LOVES her runners!
Courtney. She is two, and she sure show us that. She helps me start the laundry, she loves to help. She also is talking a whole lot more. When she smiles her eyes disappear and she giggles a lot these days! She is a joy to have in our lives. She still sucks her fingers, and grabs her ear. She still reaches for my chest for comfort. Breastfeeding ended AGES ago. She walks up and down the stairs easily, and now wants a pillow in her crib. She still is in her crib. (Thank goodness!!) And, hopefully diapers will be done by the time she turns three in November. Probably at that time, she will move into a bed. A big girl twin bed. Just like her sisters. She sure loves them all so very much!
Life is good. For the most part. I am thankful for many people, friends and family in my life. I wish that I could slow down a bit, and have a bit more fun, however that is not how it is right now. We are always flying by the seat of our pants. Running here and there, and everywhere. Not really any quiet moments, or times of rest. Most nights I am asleep on the couch until I can drag my tired but to bed. I don't think I have been in bed before the end of the day in years really.
I try my best to remain positive, and to keep strong. There are many things going against me at the moment, and I try my best to wade through and do my best. For, that is all I can do. I am sorry if there those out there who cannot understand how crazy my life is. I know there are those out there who do get it. Thank you. This means more than you know! I am thankful for those can accept me for who I am. I am only human, and do my absolute best. There are those out there who have totally let me down. Of course that saddens me, however I must keep moving on, moving forward. Pushing through. Conquering all that I have to do in the day, the week the month the year.
Anyways. I have been quiet on here, as I don't feel I have a lot to blog about. Really boring stuff in fact. One nice thing I have been enjoying lately is listening to all of the kids break into spontaneous rounds of 'Oh Canada.' That would have never happened before the Olympics. That makes me proud.
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