Flash forward 10 years. The last day of 2007. Less than a day from now. I will leave 2007 behind. And, there is a bit of sadness. As, this will be the last year that I was ever pregnant. Courtney was a big surprise to us when we found out we were pregnant in March 2007. But as she arrived in November 2007 of this year. Life changed as we had known AGAIN. But in a good way. So, as the clock strikes 12 midnight. I leave behind practically a decade of pregnancies and birth. 2008 will be all about new beginnings.
Yes, new beginnings. I basically started the new millennium as a new Mom. In that span of time of I have birthed 6 kids, and lost 1. I have spent a majority of that time span breastfeeding. And, I will spend the majority of 2008 breastfeeding. And then, I will be finished breastfeeding. Never to do that again. Our baby Courtney will grow ever so quickly. Just as the other five have done!
Time to let go of the past, let go of my childbearing years. And MOVE on. Scary words for me. MOVE on. Move on to what? What does that mean? What will I do?
2008 will be a year of new beginnings for myself and for our family. Next year at this time our 'baby' Courtney will have had her first birthday, her second Christmas (and this time she will have Christmas dinner in a high chair, taste her first turkey and cranberry sauce, and most likely will be walking already!) It is hard to imagine that, because today all I need to do is breastfeed her, and change her diaper. But in 365 days so much can change. Today I saw a little smile, and she is 6 weeks old. Working her way QUICKLY to 7 weeks old. Next year life will be different again. She will be smiling and making us laugh. I know it will be good. But I know there will be no more babies for us.
In 2008, I will no longer sit on the sidelines on the couch breastfeeding or being tired and pregnant, and I will be able to spend more time becoming active with the family, and enjoying watching the kids all grow up. I have so much to look forward to in the coming year (s)!
I do have pangs and twangs of deep sadness thinking that when the clock chimes 12 midnight tonight, that I will leave behind my birthing years. I will leave behind that last year I gave birth to our last child. 2007 will have been the last time I was pregnant. I will never forget that year.
A full year of surprises that have truly filled my life with such joy! And as I type this I do not have any regrets of our choice to have a large family. In fact my heart is filled to the brim with complete and utter love and joy for the seven other people in my family. Including the world's best husband. For without him, none of this would be possible. If you asked me 11 years ago how many kids we would have? I would have said 2 maybe 3. But, to me. We are now a complete family. The mantel with the six stockings hanging at Christmas looked perfect, the van is full. We have an even number of EIGHT. There are 8 of us in '08. Eight of us! Six healthy and lovely children.
I will enjoy the year ahead. I will take the time to enjoy and remember what Cliff and I accomplished in the last 10 years! I will take the time to appreciate all of the blessings that have been given to me in abundance! I will take the time to be grateful for the gift of life itself. I will take the time to cherish all that I have. This coming year Cliff and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage! What a huge milestone.
I wish you all a have and joyful 2008! May all of your dreams come true.
Make it your best year yet!