Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Middle of the Week

The three big kids are at day camp today. I have my three littles at home. Nice quiet time, except for the usual stuff. Like getting into the taps/containers and water. Every one of my kids have gone through the stage of filling up cheese packages, containers and baggies with water. It is Caroline's turn...and Coco is learning a lot from her siblings. She doesn't have to say anything. She grunts (both fingers in her mouth) and points. She gets whatever she desires. Now that Courtney is over 16 months she sure is developing THE BEST personality! She is smiley, she makes us laugh. And she tries to sing a long to the DVD of 'Mama Mia' when the kids watch it OVER and OVER and OVER. I know we already have another dancing queen! It is really cute actually. The fun part is when all of the 'big girls' meaning Claire, Carly and Catie (and sometimes Caroline) stand on the ottoman, and jump off just like the women do in the DVD into the water. I love how their sense of fun and adventure is developing. Watching them all grow up is fascinating and lovely. 

Claire passed a swim test yesterday at swim camp, and now is able to swim in the pool without a life jacket (no lessons, just self learner--except for the lessons when she was really little) makes us so proud. She offers to help us in the kitchen. She tells us she is going to be a Baker. We tell her to go for it! 

Carly, is almost out of a life jacket! She really wants to learn so that she can get out and swim too! We love how hard she tries. And we love how gentle she can be with the little ones.

Cameron, he is swimming like a fish too. He was doing this last year already. He cannot wait until August! Either can we. He loves hanging out with his best girl J. They are so cute together. He spends a LOT of time there. They say they will get married, so you'd both better wait until you are 25 at least LOL. Cameron also gets along very well with Catie. They do so nicely together. I love seeing that brother sister bond develop. 

Catie, well she thinks she is going to high school in September! (maybe too much High School Musical?!) we keep telling her, no KINDERGARTEN. LOL. She cannot WAIT to turn 5 this September. She is so small still that she can fit into the back basket on our double stroller. She loves to hide, and get into things! 

Caroline, still in her diapers. Can totally go to the toilet, but won't. She is almost three, so I just have to be patient, and I KNOW she will do it on her own time. She also still is the loudest of all of the kids. She also has the best pouty face I have EVER seen. I will have to post a photo! She also has transitioned to her big girl bed with not a problem. We are so proud of her.

Coco, our dear little Courtney. She tries so hard to be a big girl. She is practically walking down the stairs on her own. She climbs, she gets into our cabinets. She can grab knives off the top of the island already (oh dear!) like I say she grunts a lot. She plays well with the others. The others help her a lot. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good. She gets carried around a lot. They take off her footwear. They take her sippy cups and drink her stuff. They take her food. They love her very much. She is very drawn to her big brother Cameron. I often find her on her Daddy's old rocking chair in their room 'reading' books quietly.  She often brings books to me with a grunt and we 'read' together. 

Anyways, life has been crazy busy. At times I feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants...pulled like crazy in every direction. Our house is very loud, to the point where sometimes our ears crackle at of the noise, and the screams. Cliff and I barely have a moment to ourselves. It has been a time of transition for us. It gets easier in some ways, and in other ways much more difficult. We do do do do do do do. And do some more. Life with six kids. 

I feel bad for not connecting even with my own family, and with my friends who I feel like I have deserted, and not kept in touch with. Phone calls are difficult because of the noise factor. And of course at night the last thing I really want to do is talk. I am thankful for twitter, Facebook and email for re-connecting with family and friends. And even then, it is hard to keep up with all of our demands. I often have guilt about not spending more time with my family. But as I have aged, I realize too that I have a family and I need to direct my attention on them more. I am trying not to feel guilty, and just seek balance in my life. Stay positive, keep smiling and keep moving forward as I get nearer and nearer to that next decade. Seeing my FIL pass away early makes me want to take life by the horns and go for everything! Not live a life of fear, which is how I think I lived for many years. I am taking steps to get past my fear, and just focus on trying new things. Stepping out of my comfort zone, and just being me. The authentic Cathy.

I am thankful that I can maintain for the most part a happy disposition, that I can laugh when times are stressful, I can run when I want to get away. Thankful for this time in my life. I know it will always be busy, but there are so many interesting things going on right now. My life is very colourful and full. Like restaurant service. I am much more productive when I am really busy. And when it slows down, I become slow and not as productive. As I have said before I would rather be very busy, than very bored. As I tell my kids a lot, boring is as boring does! Get interested in SOMETHING and go for it!

My life is full of laughter, crazy times, loud kids, whispers, inside jokes, taps on the legs, twists of my hair. Laundry, picking up stuff. Kissing owies, kisses, and hugs. I feel very fortunate to have this life that I have.

I am also thankful for the man behind the scenes Cliff, who helps me become the person I want to become. He is always there in the shadows. I often get asked, how do you do it all. And believe me, I am no super mom. Seriously. I have a very modern, supportive husband. He cooks, he changes diapers, he bathes kids, he cleans, he takes the kids out when I have shoots, he cleans toilets and mops. He loves us like nobody can. And that is how I do it. He believes in me, and for that I am grateful. 

My crazy amazing life! Who knew life could be this exciting. Truly there are so many facets to life that I am just beginning to realize. So many opening doors, and I have to think which one to open first! 

I have been training hard for my marathon, and lately I have been running a lot. I am busy with my fitness pretty much every day. I feel better when I exercise. Exercise to me is mandatory. I am happier, and that makes for a happy family. It is my time to release the stresses of the days and weeks. Helps me to cope better. I think about what I want to work on next, or solve my life problems when I am exercising. I am about 8 weeks from the race. This Sunday I will run 32 kms. The longest run ever for me. I am so excited! 


Beth said...

Wow Cathy! I love this post. It somehow makes me feel more human to know that sometimes you feel like you're just barely keeping your head above water, too. I know people probably say this all the time, but I truly do not know how you do it and still maintain such a positive outlook. You are an amazing mother, and an even more amazing woman--truly inspiring! Good luck with your long run this weekend!

Michelle said...

Hi Cathy would you like to compare noise? call anytime and we'll compare! ha.It's great that Cliff is so great with everything.I know that you wouldn't trade it in heart beat tho'.

Amanda said...

Cathy, I just want to tell you I LOVE your blog header. So pretty, so creative.....I'm not surprised:)

Christina B said...

Hey you - so glad to hear this reflection! It does a soul good to do this! Hope the 32k went well! I could NEVER!! Yeah for modern hubbies! are SO a Super Mom!! Accept it!