So, I packed up the pack n' play, the baby carrier, the infant toys, the car seat zipper cover. Many of the warm blankets, and receiving blankets. And, of course the little itty bitty beautiful sun dresses etc. They are all packed away. For what?! I am not sure...but it truly was difficult day for me. I was practically welling up with tears packing them away. Each little item, I would snuggle to my chest...and sigh. Some sighs were more sad, and yet a part of me was OK with this all. Weirded that I am not pregnant right now, and I will never be pregnant again sigh. Not normal for me at this time when usually I would already be pregnant again.
It is weird thing after being pregnant so many times, to just be like...OK all done. I am all done. I am all good with this all not being pregnant anymore. You would think after six, it would be deal sealed. But I have to say I still have twangs and pangs when my friends and family give birth. I am totally happy for them ALL...but I feel like I am missing out.
Really, I am OK with it all because my Courtney still needs me. My other kids need me. It is all OK. But, like I say I thought by NOW I would be all over this, and yet not. Hmmmm.
Well, the day is almost done. I am thinking I will head to bed and hope that my babies (that would be all six of them) decide to stay down for the count. You see, my baby Courtney loves spending time with her Mamma. Yes, lots of time. So, I just relish in that, and enjoy these moments which I know are fleeting. She can stay my baby for as long as she wants. I am totally OK with that. I have to say, she has me wrapped around my fingers. Well, all over me. I know she is my last, and finally I can 'baby' somebody for longer than the time if I were to be pregnant again. Those babes had to grow up more quickly than I would have liked.
I have to say, that life is good in that respect. I am feeling rather joy-filled knowing that I have been blessed to have this mothering experience over six times in one life-time. SWEET I say SWEET. My job has not been completed either, the babies grow, but I know I am still needed for a long, long time :D
I love you my precious little children. Oh how I love you all to the depth of my soul. To the very centre of my body, to the ends of my fingertips, the the highest I can reach, to the bottoms of my feet. I love you all to the moon and back. I cannot express how deeply I love you all.
I am so thankful for this beautiful life I have been given! This beautiful opportunity!