Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Too many?

Larger families are near and dear to my heart. And with saying that, I would have to say that I could not go "there" myself to go and have 5 more kids or even 1 more.

With my 5 kids that are 7 and under (7,6, 4,2, and 10 months) I spread myself thin on most days, as does my hubby. But, I would not change my experiences for the world. I know I have become a less selfish and loving person to all of my family. I think my priorities were off when I was a DINK with my hubby. Having this family (Circus) has changed me forever.

The thought of having another often is in my mind. My husband definately is at his limit. He doesn't want any more. The thing that stops me is when I get back to reality and think of my OTHER 5 kids and wonder what the implications would be to increase our family to 6 kids (or maybe 7 if we had twins). And how that baby (as MUCH as they/we would love her or him) would make THEIR lives a lot harder. That would mean a new van, and by that I would mean an 11 or 15 passenger van, a WAY larger home, and just meaning our kids would have WAY less. And having them adjust to more family changes.

The kids ask us when we are having another and we just tell them that we are not having any more. I just LOVE the fact that our kids would be so OPEN to having a 6th. Even if they all had to share a room or whatever. That makes my heart sing.

IF we had a 6th baby it would be for my selfish reasons more than anything else. I just love new babies and I love to see all of my kids together and loving each other (well maybe more like beating each other up lol) Today for example I walked my 2 eldest kids to school. (and then I had my double stroller with the 2 littlest kids in there) And my other daughter came a long too. So, all 5 kids lol. I pick up 2 other school age kids and take them to their classrooms to help out their Mom who just had a baby (a premie) I find it difficult to keep my eyes on the 7 kids...and 2 are strapped into the double stroller. I manage but could not GO there full time.

My hat goes off to families that can go that distance like the Duggars with their 16 and 1 on the way. I just know my limitations and I am pleasantly happy with my 5.

And, I am tired of being stared at, and having people drop their jaws in front of us and count outloud while pointing at all of the kids. Rude don't you think. I have also had people ask me "Don't you know what causes that?" etc. My family, my choice. Our family is well taken care of, and we do not require assistance.

We just have made a choice to do the best for our family. I have decided that lifestyles are expensive and not having kids. We do just fine! I am just happy that our kids have each other, and I *hope* that they will remain close.

6 comments:

AmberW said...

Cathy - you and Cliff are so amazing. I have the four kids in the afternoon's all together right now, and I KNOW I could go there. But then I think of you and the five, and I on the other don't know that I could go THERE!! lol. I guess the yearning for another baby will always be there - we are mom's right? And we love our job. That makes it tough. We shall see where the road leads us!

Allyson said...

Not too many, just enough, right Cath? How rude of people to point, I guess they didn't see the other three fingers pointing back at them! Your family is a joy and a delight and you two are doing an awesome job, the proof is in the pudding as someone used to say. Love you, Mom/Nanny xxxooo

Eve said...

I can totally understand how you feel. All of our lives, My husband and I only wanted 2 children - nice and easy, neat and tidy. But now I thank God that someone up there saw fit to send me twins, for a total of 3 beautiful daughters. I'm so glad that I didn't miss out on all of this fun and joy, and I can even imagine having a fourth.
(I NEVER thought I'd say that back when I only had one child!)
Really, I agree, there is nothing more wonderful than your children, whether it's 1 or 10.
:)

ps- I think you must be a lot more organized than me - you always sound so calm and happy - I love it!

LauraC said...

I am shocked that people point and stare. That is so rude!

Jon and I were just discussing this the other night. This baby stage is fun fun fun and I could see where having another baby would bring so much joy. But adding another baby in the mix would change so much in our lives that it's not the right choice for us. We feel like our family is complete with 2... and for some people that's 5 or 10 or 16!

Btw, my dad is one of 5 children. I love family get-togethers because they automatically line up for pictures in age order (and they are all in their 40s-50s now)! My grandma is the cutest, she is so excited when all of her kids are together. She said that is her favorite thing in the entire world. She even learned to use email in her 70s and get this - my grandma and my 3 aunts get in a chat room online together every day!

Maybe you will be that kind of mom/grandma!

El Shaddai Ranch said...

We have 4 kids and one on the way. When people say, "Don't you know what causes that?" I respond, "Yep, that's why we keep doing it!" Another good one... when they say, "Wow, you have your hands full." You can say, "Better than empty." That usually shuts them up. When they say, "You must be SuperMom!" I say, "Nope, just ask my kids." Glad you are having fun w/ your crew, I sure am.

cathy said...

Hi Kristin!

Those are some great comeback lines! thank you! You look like you have a great crew too! 5 is really fun! I am sure you will agree ;D