Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Elephant in the Room

My father in law was diagnosed with secondary bone cancer today, which means the original cancer came back and has spread to his bones. He is stage 4 which means he is palliative and will receive meds, radiation and possibly chemo for pain relief only. The goal of palliative care is to help him as pain free as possible.

Next week he should start his radiation treatments (for 1 week, 1 treatment a day), keep him on the morphine and he is on the list for a pain control clinic. Hopefully he gets in there in the next couple of weeks. He has enough meds for now until he gets to that weekly session.

We of course are extremely sad, and feel worst of course for the kids. They are all very close to their grandpa.

We just want him to remain pain free, and hope that the meds and treatments will help him acheive that. We know he was in a great deal of pain and we don't want him to hurt anymore.

It was a long, long day. But, thankfully all of our questions were answered today and has helped us to take all of this in.

We are tired, I am tired.

I hope we get some sleep tonight.


Anonymous said...


I am so very sorry to hear this about your fil. That is very sad, please know your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless,

Susanna said...

Cathy, my heart goes out to you, Cliff, the kids and the rest of the family. You will be in my prayers. I have worked for years as a nurse's aide here in Victoria. Having worked rotations in palliative care, the team that will care for your father inlaw from Hospice, is nothing short of amazing. Remember in the days and weeks ahead to take care of yourselves and get plenty of rest ok?

Sending love, & prayers from the island;

Irma said...

Cathy I'm so sorry to hear about your fil. HUGS to you and the rest of your family. It is always hard to see a loved one suffer. Praying for strength for the weeks ahead!

Take care, Irma

Jillian Kirby said...

Cathy, I'm so sorry to hear of the news today. I just hope that your father in law stays as pain free as possible and that you all are doing alright. Please feel free to let me know if I can do anything to help at all!
Thinking about you all!

Alyson said...

That IS sad. Enjoy every moment with him....shower him with love and tell him all you need to tell him. At least you will get to do that.

PamnPat'sParadise said...

Cathy, I'm so sorry to hear this news. My heart aches for you and Cliff and your kids. These things are so hard to face, especially when you know what the end results will be. He must know how much love is there for him - I'm sure he feels it the minute you all walk in the room.

Take care of yourselves too and take time to rest.

My heart is with you!

FunkyMomma said...

Big hugs to you and your family Cathy. I know how close my kids are to their Grandpa. I can't imagine what you guys are going through.

Yvonne said...

Cathy my heart goes out to you. These things are never easy ... you and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers!

All the best, Yvonne

Tammy said...

Hugs Cathy and hugs to all your family. I hope he gets all the pain relief he needs and remember to take care of yourself. My prayers are with you and your family at this time

Andrea said...

I am sorry...It is so hard to see someone you love in pain. I hope they can get that under control for him, and that you get to enjoy some happy memories.
Big hugs to you and your family. I pray for the best for your FIL.

Carol said...


The Hoegler Family said...

I am so sorry Cathy and Cliff. Life is never fair. I hope you all get to spend some good times together still.

Love from Hege

Momto2princes said...

oh Cathy I am so sorry. (((HUGS))) to you and Cliff and your whole family.
Spend your time making some great memories and live life to the fullest everyday because nobody knows how many days they have left.

MurrayvilleMom said...

We are thankful to our friends and family who support us during this time!

We love you all.

ticblog said...

Cathy & Co. - enjoy every last minute you can. Just like time seems to crawl when we're waiting for something exciting, time has a way of slipping past us way too quickly when we're looking towards something sad. Each week, each day, each breath is a blessing - savour them, and know my heart is with you all.