Wednesday, August 30, 2006

last night

I had such a hard time going to bed last night. I kept doing the "what ifs" in my brain. I couldn't shut it down. And so this morning I am totally drained. And it is only 7:56 in the morning. I look at Caroline and think you look so healthy, you are happy you are thriving. You feed well, you have diapers that are filled up to the max with pee and poop. How could you have something like a "duplex kidney?" How does that happen? I know in my heart that she will be fine. I just want it all to be over. It will be hard to wait for the whole month. Especially because this VCUG will be a hard test to watch as a parent. But, thankfully we can be there during the test. I want to be able to take her pain away as soon as possible.

It was also hard to be in the hospital, as there were MANY visibly sick kids there. Cliff said he saw a young family crying their eyes out. Cliff said it looked like they lost a child or a baby. The whole family outside crying. That story breaks my heart. We saw little ones walking around with IV poles and bags attached to the little babies and kids. That makes my heart break. I am so glad that I started my website to help donate to the BC Children's Hospital. What a wonderful hospital. Knowing that I am helping! That makes my heart happy! There are things I can do to help and that is powerful and makes me feel happy!

If you have any kids clothing you were going to donate and it is in good shape. Think of my cause first! Thanks! Help my clothes-O-meter to grow!

Cathy

5 comments:

Allyson said...

I couldn't sleep last night either Cath. I too was thinking of our wee Miss Caroline. M xxoo

cathy said...

Oh you too eh? I am so bushed. I read til almost 2 am. Up at 6.

Not too much sleep. Hopefully tonight will be easier.

AmberW said...

Hey Cathy- everything will be just fine. I know it is so hard, especially the waiting. Children's hospital is one of the hardest places in the world to be. I had to go as a small child and the images still stick in my head. Anyway, I hope you can make it through the day - no sleep takes its toll. **HUGS**

AmberW said...

Oh and I added your Clothes For Cathy site onto my blog!

Katie said...

Hi Cathy! Just checking in and catching up a bit! I hope everything went well with Caroline's bladder test, or maybe you haven't had it yet? I know how hard it must be to go to the hospital and see all the sadness. I pray everyday that Cael will stay healthy. I know he won't always be and antipating his first pains/sickness scare me to death! I know how horrible I felt for him when he puked up his soy formula. It broke my heart. Hang in there! You are so strong and I think it's a wonderful thing you're doing for your local hospital!! -Katie